So I couldn’t continue writing this blog without at least once writing about the dirty diaper adventures. Before Madeline was born, Gloria and I went to a baby care class at which the subject of diapers and their contents was discussed. One of the things I remember them saying was, “You’ll be changing 12 to 14 diapers a day.” It’s hard to imagine what that really means until you actually live it. Twelve plus diapers a day is a large amount of garbage. I actually had to get a larger garbage can from the city so that we can throw away all these diapers Madeline is messing. The pile of dirty diapers is quite large, and looking at it one cannot help but contemplate, “Why not get cloth diapers, all you have to do is clean them.” Exactly, all you have to do is clean 12 - 14 dirty cloth diapers a day. A larger garbage can is the far simpler solution.

However, the real surprise for me is the effectiveness that Madeline displays in making a mess. Breast fed babies don’t make turds, they make ish, and ish spreads. It kind of reminds me of of that old horror movie The Blob, as what I find in Madeline’s diapers just continues to multiply and spread. If it weren’t for the magic barrier we call a diaper, this world would be consumed by baby ish.

Sometimes I swear Madeline can be sadistic about the production of this ish. About every third diaper change Madeline waits until I have her old diaper off and her butt in the air before she decides to unleash more of her orange ish unto the world. Frequently, she does it with such explosive energy that the spray of orange ish goes up to 12 to 14 inches across the changing table.  After this happen to me a few times, with one time the spray narrowly missing my face, I also noticed that Madeline was getting diaper rash from all the wiping. After lamenting about my diaper changing issues, Gloria demonstrated her superior intellect and said to me, “Why don’t you just wash her butt in the sink?” Brilliant. So it turns out that Madeline actually prefers this too. As soon as her butt hits that water, which is of course luke-warm, any crying comes to an immediate stop and she nearly falls asleep.

We are learning the tricks of being parents. Hopefully Gloria and I will be prepared in time for the teenage years.

-- Michael